Redefining Productivity and Success

Embodying inconsistency as I learn to find my balance between work and rest.

My whole life, someone else has told me what amount of work I need to do to feel “productive” and what exactly “success” looks like. The masculine energy that our society operates in, the hard-working, don’t rest, just be productive mindset we have all adapted to, is not one I want to be tied to anymore.

I’m the type of person who, if I’m not at work, I’m working on my blog, and if I’m not working on my blog, I’m sweeping the floor, or scrubbing the shower. Literally. It is so hard for me to relax, and oftentimes when I do relax, I tell myself that it doesn’t feel good, that it’s not rewarding. This part of my life is about rewriting the narrative I've learned in this masculine-dominate world, learning that I deserve rest, and that it feels good to take this time for myself.

Are you somebody who has a hard time relaxing and resting?

This is especially something I’ve noticed in women. The 8-hour work day and 24 hour day is made to support the male hormonal cycle, the circadian rhythm. The male hormonal cycle is a 24 hour cycle, while the female hormonal cycle, the infradian rhythm, is a 29 day cycle. The way our society is set up forces women to operate in a cycle that we are not made to operate in. Our cycle is made up of four phases, and in those four phases, there are different things our bodies desire to do. For example, while we are bleeding, our bodies crave rest and silence. We are supposed to spend this time reflecting and relaxing as our bodies grieve, but society demands productivity of us, so we keep working. Our cycles are not valued, and it forces us to embody this masculine energy that is not ours to embody.

What are the consequences of this?

Constantly operating in the masculine energy can lead to physical disease and health issues which show up in woman as things like stomach and digestion problems, poor gut health and issues with our reproductive system. Are you somebody who has hormonal acne/hormonal imbalances, celiac, endometriosis, PCOS, problems with digestion, or just general tummy problems? Oftentimes, these health issues stem directly from our inability to rest, create, and embody our feminine energy because our society forces us to produce, neglecting our cycle and womb.

I could, and will eventually, write more about this topic as I learn and embody more of the practices that come with balancing the masculine and feminine energies. If you don’t know what that means, check out this article of mine. For now, I want to share what my focuses have been and why I’ve been MIA.

For a couple months, I was working extensively at my blog, publishing every Wednesday, making Reels, TikTok’s, reading a ton of fiction, all while working 35-40 hours. Naturally, I got tired. I am absolutely passionate about writing, but I was absolutely forcing myself to work at a level that just wasn’t healthy for me. My entire life, I have rarely paused to take a seat, breath, or nap. Now, I'm teaching myself that I don't always need to be working at something, producing something.

My focus right now is to find my balance and redefine what productivity and success looks like for me. I want my goals to come naturally, not with force.

I have been journaling so much, making time for relaxation, rest and silence and listening to what my body needs, instead of forcing it to get something done. Last week, I worked 5-1, made lunch and took a 4 hour nap, which is very out of character for me, but I was listening to my body’s needs. When I woke up, I did yoga, made dinner and cleaned the kitchen, journaled and listened to a Podcast. Not because I had to, but because I wanted to. I gave my body what it needed, and was rewarded with the energy to complete all my goals for the first time since I’ve been tracking my progress with them. I was so proud of myself.

It's been over a month since I posted on my blog, and I felt really guilty for that at first, but now, I am embodying inconsistency. Forcing myself to write, lead me to a lack of passion and desire to make content. I didn’t want to write for weeks. I am learning to find the perfect balance between work, my blog, and my time to relax and create. That is balancing your masculine and feminine energies.

Who knows when I will post next? I have my whole life to work on my blog, and find that consistency, but for now, I need to learn how to relax. And the rest will follow.

If you are like me and have a hard time sitting down, relaxing, resting, and creating, I hope this inspired you to find your balance, because you deserve it.

Love always, Abby Long