Who Am I Apart from Capitalism?

Finding our self-worth and value in things other than our productivity.

I have found a new sense of freedom.

I recently quit my job on the spot, without any plan for what’s next. In my adult life, I am learning that a sense of security and structure comes from other areas of life than occupation. With Paxton being a full-time artist, we had to switch our mindset about what financial security and stability might look like for us.

We trusted that we would be supported in his decision to follow his dreams, and we have experienced just that.

He is an artist through and through.

What am I?

Who am I?

This part of my life is called self discovery.

I have spent the last sixteen months learning about myself. Listening to my thoughts, feeling my feelings and following my intuition. But this is different.

The society we have built teaches us to find our worth and purpose in our level of productivity. And we can be productive by a. Going to school or b. Working.

What happens when you aren’t doing either?

It’s been easy for me to feel a strong sense of worth and purpose because I excelled in high school, went to college, and have been in the workforce since I was fourteen. Talk about productivity.

I’ve now dropped out of school, and quit my corporate job. Don’t get me wrong, these are two of the best decisions I’ve made. As a fire sign, and Virgo moon, my worth inherently comes from being useful in the world. But I don’t want to be useful in the way that we are supposed to be; making money, spending money.

I want to be a verb more than a noun. Not confined to a single word, but composed of many.

I want to write more, without the pressure. I want to start a Podcast. I want to study astrology every day. Learn all 78 tarot cards. Take yoga classes. Be a life-long student. Make a recipe book. Write a book. Paint. I want to be involved in my community. Make mocktails and cold brews. Spend less money. Consume less. Create. Learn. Teach. Speak. Travel. Meditate.

I want to live less according to the clock, and more in accordance with nature.

My time is mine again. I get to decide what I want to do with it. It’s time for me to decide who I am apart from being a student, or a barista. A time to explore passions and hobbies, to discover what I came here to do, and how to execute that purpose.

We are more than the titles we’ve been named, more than a single noun.

Who am I apart from capitalism?

Who are you apart from capitalism?

Love always, Abby Long